Bank Holiday Girls Catch Up - Just What You Need.

Just another Sunday, but no. It's the Bank Holiday!!, Well it was. For you anyway. Me I worked all of it. Just how it is, no biggie. 

(Photo Above and further below - Photographer - Kerry Curl, Location & Clothes & Furniture - Attik & Seller and Model - me - Amy Woodman)

(The first Bank Holiday in April I had off and my dad took me to the races - Fakenham - which was really great, sadly I was feeling really ill still so wasn't quite myself! But still was a lovely day out!)

I am currently working at a local pub The Black Horse as well as modelling (occasionally, more occasionally than ever ATM, maybe it's just the season and where the industry is going I just don't know) So I work flexible full time/part time, shift work really which consists of days, evenings, and late nights, but every shift is different times which makes it a little less mundane. It's a pub I've worked at for quite a long time and have been there throughout all the changes which makes me feel like a bit of the furniture to be honest - In a good way though. :)


I love the customers and the people I work with AND the fact we are a dog-friendly pub is a major plus! Also the food and drink offers are really good (Sunday Roasts especially! and recently I've got into the BrewDog Punk IPA in a can - the blue one) We have lots of exciting things planned for Summer which is pretty cool so if you haven't checked it out do so. Every Tuesday pints of Ale are only £3 ALL DAY if you're an aley fan! The house spirits are all £2.60 for single and £3.60 a double so under £5 for a double G&T <3 which is pretty good! The bar snacks are amazing (will have to take a photo of them all) and my favourite is definitely the crispy squid ! 

So anyway, myself and my good friend Kathrine (who I've known ever since Nursery) tend to meet up maybe once or twice a month and either go to a National Trust place (as we signed up last year as members) or dinner or a night out. Sunday draws closer and we plan to go for some cocktails out in Norwich and maybe somewhere after. The night is young - unless you go out a little later than planned. We were looking for a pretty chilled evening as we both had work the next day (Bank Holiday Monday).

I got home from work on the Sunday around 19:30 ish, felt reeeally tired so had a nap... woke up at 21:50! Had a few texts from Kat regarding our plan for the evening. Thought to myself.. I could just sleep more or I could go out for a bit..

Decisions!!

I decided to go out, dress up and have a good evening. It was great. I'm so pleased I decided to push myself to venture out and have a catch up with a good friend. :)

We went to Bond in Tombland (the old Bam Bams) for a Pornstar Martini which was really great - Prosecco as a shot is still a strange concept for me - and had already drank it prior to this photo - but I always enjoy these Martini's and this one is a really good one. I'd definitely recommend it! 

Then we had a glass of Prosecco each which had some raspberries in which was a great touch! Plus we both loved the glasses there. 

Goblet of Fizz. 

Really elegant and well worth the money for the amount you got. Happy, yes.

We sat outside for most of the evening as the seating area outside is like a jungle with palm trees and shrubbery (I always think of Monty Python - A SHRUBBERY!!) and there were heaters, which is always a plus, during this time of is it Winter or Spring? It was a nice chilled (but not cold) temperature - plus most people inside were so drunk and seemed like they were all on the same office party, and as much as I love meeting new people and getting involved this was not the right evening for it.

We moved on to Bar 11 where I had a double G & T (obviously) and another one and then some Tequila Rose which I LOVE. I think I could definitely drink an entire bottle and not feel anything drunk wise.

It's like being on holiday and having a (slightly) alcoholic icecream.

Yum!

We had a dance. We made some friends. When I say made some friends it's more like they found us. Strange men who either lose their friends somewhere in the club or get left behind or have no idea where they are.. that or the ones that go alone and stand there either staring at you or trying it on. None of this we were cool with so slid along to a space away from these sorts. Bless them for trying though. I mean I am picky when it comes to men but it's hardly fair that when I do get chatted up (like the once a year or something then I get these sorts, thank you but no I'm not interested thanks..)

I always love the music in Bar 11. At least you can wiggle to the majority of 'the beats'. 
Even if I'm not a good wiggler at least I'm making the effort. I like to call the music 'shitty R'n'B, the genre of music that I was never allowed to listen to growing up however it's made an appearance over the last 7 years. Sorry dad.

It's good music to wiggle to.

We stayed out a lot later than planned. I dressed up like a girl (I'm trying honest) and had a lovely catch up and chatted about loads it was really nice to just chill and have a few drinks and not have a mental one. Another time we'll start earlier and I haven't been to the Rooftop Gardens yet so would love to go there. Obviously we had to take a Bar 11 selfie in their new selfie mirror in the toilets. So here it is 

<3

I think sometimes you underestimate yourself and it's always good to have a chat with a friend and listen and help each other out. Vice Versa. I've been feeling in such a rut for a while and a little bit sad and just thinking of last year but it's good to have friends to keep you together even when you don't feel quite together. It's good to talk and sort out worries I think I just over think that bit and then say nothing because I find it easier to deal with. Saying nothing gets you nowhere. I've learnt that so I'm really going to try and pull myself back together and push through the feeling shit times. Make more time for people and spend more time with friends and doing things and writing even if maybe it's just for myself to look back and reflect on these silly times. Being positive and working out my life.


That's all for now. It's another Sunday, I need to get back on track and wake up and do things. My room is such a mess. Don't they say; 

A tidy room a tidy head? 

That's what I need to do!

Thanks for scrolling,

Amy xx

Fog of the Future

You know what, and to be honest, I haven't been the complete best with myself recently, but really, I've just been feeling a bit shit recently, for a number of different reasons. Trying to concentrate on working out the jigsaw, working on all the little bits and still not getting there with any sort of pattern. I'm usually good at these. 

I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be going (in life) what I want to do or what I'm supposed to be doing or whether I'm supposed to be knowing what I'm doing.

I'm at the age where I'm feeling like .. right now surely I should be proud of where I'm at. 

But really supposedly you should be proud of whatever you're at when you're doing that.

That's the thing, panicking about doing the right thing or not doing the right thing or what is the right thing?

I've been trying to decide whether modelling is going anywhere for me. I enjoy it yes. But realistically money wise it's getting me nowhere. I'm sometimes getting some. But mostly I'm not getting much. That's the honest truth. Maybe I'm getting more than some but for me it's not enough. It's not driving me. I want more. People always want more. It's not that I don't want it. I do. It's not that I'm even giving up to it. The competition is everywhere. It's a hard lifestyle. It's the inconsistency of it really. 

I love it and I hate it. 

Marmite. (I don't even like Marmite but I love twiglets) is that even a thing? I don't know. I'm at that stage where I'm thinking do I give it all up and concentrate on the real world. 
The real world which is still a struggle to achieve. 

Do I love what I do but I am just not earning enough to achieve something. Or do I love what I do because I like working with new people, helping them grow their business.
I want people (other people) to do well, but not myself? It's come to a point where; yes I want to help you out but I also want to and should feel the need to help myself out too. 

It's a two-way thing. 

That's always the thing in this Industry. The fashion industry. Or the makeup industry. Or in anything. I'm doing this because I want to. I want to make you happy and believe in yourself but surely I should believe in myself too. And I should want to. I need to. It's just a difficult thing to do. 

To want to, to need to, and to be appreciated for doing so.

Where does money come into it? Well, really money doesn't really do that much. Deciding the life of .. let's do this. Let's ignore the constant no money thing. Let's just carry on. Or do I forget it all and at least I tried? I don't know. That's where I'm at right now. I just don't know what to do. 

What is right. What I should do. What is right to do. 

What's earning me money? Modelling isn't right now and that's why I just shouldn't technically, practically and logically but giving up the dream of having that thing that I want, that everyone else wants is that what I should do? 

I just don't know. I don't know what to do.

Maybe I'll do something new for a bit and that might help me be me again.

- Advice is welcomed. Everyone's been there. It's just how to get out of it is the struggle.

Thanks for reading/scrolling

Amy

Under The Weather

Apologies, I've really not been feeling very well lately, the past month really has been rubbish. Really rubbish.

I've been well under the weather for sure.

I've had so many tests done, even a trip to the hospital for an x ray and got to wear a hospital gown .. (thankfully it came back clear so that's good). Still awaiting the blood test results, which will probably come back clear too and they will say ..

'Your body is tired, you just need to rest up'

The norm for doctors to say these days. Or maybe they will find something. It could just be a bad virus. My immune system isn't too great and when I catch something, then I catch them all.

'Gotta catch them all' 

(..... Pokemon)

So, hence why I haven't been posting that much on social media sites, I'm tired a lot of the time, I really can't be bothered. I'm behind on posting. I've been some places other than my bed.

I should get back on track soon, I feel my brain is slowly coming back to me. I'm still feeling pretty hazy most days. I'm making sure I eat properly (a common question always asked) I've not lost weight, in fact I've gained loads. I'm now over 10 stone. Which is weird. All my new weight is going to my bum. I'm a small frame, I always have been but the bum is getting bigger all the time and I can't seem to shrink it.

I'm not a Kardashian though (that's definitely spelt wrong somewhere) 

I'll be fine. I always am. I just am getting a bit bored of feeling unwell all of the time. Having to sleep a lot because I'm so exhausted from doing nothing really. I've not been going out, I've not really been drinking or partaying. I just can't be bothered right now. I eat and it does nothing for me energy wise other than making me sleepy. Hopefully the tests will come back with something or an answer at least.

So I apologise if you think I've been ignoring you or I can't make a job or I'm slow at uploading and all that. I'll get round to it honest I am just really really exhausted most of the time and there's not much I can do about it other than yes rest but also keep going and not give into it.

So this was just a little post to explain that and why I've not been posting much. Getting behind with things and trying to keep up with it all is exhausting enough. 

Speak soon

Amy xx

Test only - Getting confused accidentally setting up two accounts..

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

BlogLovin' my way into the Blogging World

Well this is confusing. Trying to connect everything social media wise with BlogLovin. Also confusing. For all you lot who are already doing it and 'Blog Lovin' it' you're thinking..

Nooo it's so easy peezy lemon squeezy!!

Well it's not. It's stupid confusing. Not lemon squeezy in anyway. But I'm getting there (I think at the bottom of this post is the 'Follow my blog with Bloglovin') so hopefully that then links you to things and me to things and if I want to apply to Campaigns then I can. Still not completely sure how that all works but we are getting there aren't we. 
Yes.

I think I need to eat. I've not eaten much today. Not really felt myself, generally, lately. I had a nice bath earlier though and washed my hair for the first time in like a week and a day.  I KNOW RIGHT! ERRRRR, but it was doing fine honest. (Dry Shampoo did help me but my hair didn't seem to get that bad, it doesn't really, maybe it's a coloured hair kind of thing, don't take my word on that though because I am not a hair dresser or hair person. I am just given things to use and I use them that's all) 
Last week on Monday I was at the Tigi Academy for a presentation job so I had it coloured and cut then and thought I'd just leave it a bit. When you get your hair coloured, hair people always say to try and leave it for as long as possible before washing because it's better, it keeps the colour more or something along those lines. 

Sometimes I follow this advice and sometimes I don't. 

But like I said I've not felt very much myself lately and I have and am still very much very tired. Exhausted. Just keep falling asleep all the time. Silly. This Snapchat filter is cute though.. There's me in my tartan onesie. Love tartan. It almost matches my bed spread.

I'm not really a big Snapchatter. Snapper. The filters are cute but I don't OTT with them. It's effort really isn't it? Plus who wants to see your face (all the time) with every single silly filter on. Surely your face is the best just how it is. But hands up to Snapchat with all these new filters, keeps it funny and sometimes, usually when I'm travelling or on an important job I open a snap from someone and am in HYSTERICS because it is just so so hilarious. Then I just laugh for ages and can't stop. Those are the times. 


So today I was supposed to do loads. I didn't really do that much. I did a bit. I'm tired again but trying to tell myself that I am not. If I lie in bed I will just fall asleep. I half tidied my room. Well when I say half I mean half halfed, well I did a bit. Only a little bit. Then I got tired. I looked for some jobs. I called some people. I saw a friend and had a catch up which was lovely. I'm trying not to do too much because then I'll just be more tired. I get like this when I overwork myself. It's really really annoying and there's nothing I can do about it and I usually accidentally ignore the warning signs.. Migraines etc. I just keep going. 



I guess writing all this is like escaping from tidying but also because I recently read a blog post Free Apps you should get if you're a Blogger - by Maria J - it was great so do check it out. I'm so new to this and I still haven't got a clue so it was nice to know what apps to use, and free apps at that. The scheduling one is something I am going to look into for sure as I've heard from other bloggers that they use that one a lot because if not they forget to post and post at the times when people check things. 

I'll have a lookie and let you know what I think. If anyone would like to provide more information about Blogger or the Blogging World to me I would appreciate it as have been contacted by people to do some and I think some Vlogging stuff too. Eeeeek! Exciting and new though. A new adventure. 

This post alone was about to be learning about putting my blog code or something into a post so I can claim my blog on Blog Lovin. It's not that hard, once you're in blogger mode. Blogger brain. I always accidentally type Brian, which I always laugh about, even if it's just me in a room, alone. 

------> Follow my blog with Bloglovin <------

That's it there. 
Anyway I must go eat and finish/start tidying and do some other things too.

Thanks for scrolling
Amy xx

Can't Sleep? Me either.

 

Lately I've had problems sleeping. It's always been a constant battle of getting to sleep. Unless I am completely and utterly knackered then I just fall asleep of course. As a normal person doing normal things (which sometimes I wish I could do) and going to bed at that normal time and then waking up at a normal time is what my mother always tells me about. 

"If you had a normal job you would sleep normally and then you'd feel better"

None of all this, go to bed at 2am ish and then wake up around 10 or 11am or even later depending on how tired I am or what I've done recently. Or getting up at 4am to get a coach to London for the day and then working those unsociable hours because that's just what works right now, being flexible. 

I've been thinking of reasons that disturb my sleep patterns, my routine, my thought processing and generally I think it's all down to how I lead my life at the moment. Obviously it is. I've had a tough year, modelling has been good in terms of working with new people and very established well known companies and brands so that's been really good, but all the other stuff around that has been a bit poo. Time is the best thing to sort your head out and let go of the bad things (or the bad people) even if that is easier said than done. 2017 so far has been okay, and I'll just keep plodding through it, sorting a few things out along the way. I've been pretty happy lately which has been nice. 

Things work out or they just don't, plod plod. 

Keep going. 

Can't change things just do your thing. 

Find your thing. 

Plod plod.

Working in hospitality as well as modelling is just what I'm doing at the moment. That needs to change, just as a growing up kind of thing. I love it, I really do. I like working with people, meeting new people, building that relationship between customer and client and it's what I've always done and been happy with. I'm just finding it difficult thinking long term. I'm not a long term kind of person. I'm not really sure why. I've always just thought, Oh right now this is good, I'm having fun, I'm enjoying life. I think like that for everything, jobs, relationships, life, you know the normal things. But really I should, and have been thinking, for a number of years now, that I really should sort that bit out. Sort out how not to think about that. Also sort out not thinking about making other people happy before myself. Sort out just being happy (which I am sometimes but I just need to change a few bits around now to make life work)

Doing things to make people happy. If they're happy I'm happy. 

Sometimes it's easy to say that and to think that to myself but perhaps it's just an easy option. I personally think (and I know others have said to me too) that I can do better. 

I want to do better.

Expect nothing, appreciate everything. I think this is really important.

It's a good way of thinking about things and not to get yourself into a muddle, especially when it comes to relationships and by that I mean both friends and boys - for me (or girls for you, or boys or whatever) Some people might view this statement as a negative one, but no, it's just a straight up one, it says it for what it is. Just how it is, no biggie.

I am just a little scared to be honest. I'm scared about life. Maybe that's what you find out when you grow up more. Maybe that's why you're told to go to College, to University, then some Grad course, or a Masters, because it's helping you shape your life, helping you think like that. I tried to do a course afterwards, I just didn't know what in, what to do or more so because I never got the job, which is a recurring thing these days, a normal job I mean. 

Telling yourself to be positive, then you don't get it, then again, being positive, you don't get it, then again try again and again and again and then you just feel shit.

I get it it's a hard world out there and things change, things change a lot and there are always people who want to do the same as you and yes keep trying and keep pushing for it. 

Some get it, some don't. 

It's not an easy journey, but life never is (for the majority of people anyway). It's hard and it's so easy to stop trying to achieve what you want. It's exhausting and stupid and I hate the job hunt so so much. Just be positive, don't let it get you down. The thing that happens is you apply to alllllllll these things and you hear nothing or you apply to alllllllll these things and the company actually reply (basically) saying 'Sorry but you're not as good as other people who have applied and you're not that skilled but don't worry keep trying' Yeah that makes you feel so amazing right. The constant battle of am I ever going to get anywhere with something that I want to do, not knowing what I want to do but I know anything I apply for is something I would be good at, but am just never given the chance. I'm not some kid who's just finished uni or about to, I'm not on some grad course and working out my next steps, what's going to be in the next chapter, who's going to be the star player or the romance. This is not some lovely life book this is something I am just trying to work out. 

I found this image on Instagram and it pretty much is relatable (plus I love snails)

I try not to compare myself to others (I'm not talking about 'famous people' or 'celebrities' but the people who you actually know). I know it's hard to look at photos people put online about their life and saying look how happy I am. Sometimes they are, and maybe sometimes they're not. I'm not bothered if they're not and it's all for show. If you're happy that's great. 

As a single person, completely single. I don't even have a pet cat or dog. Or a baby or any potential men (sadly) it can sometimes be sad to see all these happy people enjoying life with their partner or going on mental holidays and adventures. All these things I'd love to do with someone. I could go on holiday alone, but for me personally I just don't want to. I want to enjoy my time somewhere with someone, whether it's a happy or a not so happy memory in the long term.

It's about experiences.

So all these things are in my head, the majority of the time and sure now you're thinking and I already  know, this is why I find it hard to close my eyes, to sleep, to relax. So I sometimes just have a break from it all, to escape, even if it's just me in my room chilling out, listening to music, trying not to think of everything and anything. Or what I do is do too much, push myself too much and then get exhausted. So exhausted I can't sleep, I want to, but I can't. Then I'm back in the routine of in and out of sleeping. The weird dreams. Where my brain is trying to squish all my thoughts together and make sense of them. Working from the subconscious thoughts and then some random bits and trying to work it all out and put into some sort of memory block. 

You can't sleep because you're not letting yourself. You're stressed, you're over tired. You're exhausted. You need a break from thinking about all this stuff. Don't get down about it. 

You're doing just fine.

(and that snail image above is just so good)

I think that's the main one really. 

You're doing just fine. 

Don't overthink. 

Sleep will happen eventually. 

Tea helps. I like tea. I drink a lot of tea, it makes me happy. (Tea and biscuits is the best) But I also like herbal teas because they are good for you aren't they? Nice and calming. Good for sleep time. 
I really like Pukka tea. I've been trying to test out new flavours. I recently bought the peppermint and liquorice one. I mean separately they're great but together I am not that sure. My favourites are Detox and Night Time and new one Cleanse. They all smell like feet but when brewed properly they are amazing. Like an amazing pair of smelly feet. I don't really like feet generally, but anyway try Pukka tea if you haven't already. 

Hopefully my sleep pattern will sort itself out and my brain too. Rest is important.
I'm at my mums, doing this, and looking for normal jobs. She's made carrot cake, my favourite and a cup of tea so I must go. But this has been fun right?

Speak soon,
Amy 
xx

A Worrier and A Warrior - A life plod

Well... the last two posts got a lot of response, more so than I thought they would have ! Probably because I posted on Facebook, made them a little more public, which is always a little bit scary because you're like ...

'Hey you, want to read about my rambles? My life? 

Hey are you bored? Are you looking for something to do, to read?' 

I've gotten over (kind of) writing 'Read if you want to' because that's automatically putting a negative feeling into the status, .. 'Please read me?' I mean it's cool, I'm cool if you don't want to, that's fine too..

I don't know, really I'm still new to this blogging world and I am getting behind on posts that I should have done a while ago and then something new happens and I'm like OMGGGG I want to write about this. Hence why at the moment my blog is a little bit here and there. 

'Hello Everything, Hello Now, Hello Then' 

I'll get there honest. I'm just finding my feet, sorting my head out a little and trying not to get lost. EEK!

My dad called me the other day, the other week, I've been so busy with everything, mostly modelling but a little bit of life too,, that my brain is all over the place and today is chill day (I'm still in my PJs). He had read my posts and, well this is something you just know is going to happen.. 
Your parents have a view on your life, for me I really value my parents opinions and advice because I am really indecisive and then feel like I can easily get into a muddle if I am not sure if I'm going in the right direction. 

I'm a worrier. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm a Warrior. 

Sometimes I can be that Warrior but when things get tough and my brain is all over the place I am that Worrier. 

Maybe I should have a badge, half and half. (All I'm thinking about right now is Harry Potter Houses, because I have the badges for them, because I'm so cool ;) hmmm) 

My dad, the wise words from a parent, explained to me that my posts were good but could be better, and basically I shouldn't speak badly of people that I've worked with or any of that and yeah sure I get that. So I won't.

I didn't name names but yeah it's silly to write the bad stuff, there's sites for that isn't there? Trip Advisor? How was your experience? Life Advisor, How is your experience going? 

Anyway so I probably won't talk about the bad because the bad makes me feel bad and the bad makes others feel bad.. I mean I might touch on a few things but only because it's related to things, maybe relationships. The confusing ones anyway. To say something is bad is an opinion, my opinion only. But tbh I may not bother because even writing about it is boring me, so you're definitely bored right now.

That's what blogs are about, giving your opinion on things. Saying what you like not what Jane down the road likes. 

(I don't know anyone called Jane) 

My friend Verity lives down the road though (but she'd hate me writing about her) Unless it's the 'Jezzy and Legs Cooking Show', our little pretend cooking show that we talk about because we need to, want to learn about cooking because it's a good skill to have. I think so. Or about a road trip (we like those)

Does anyone else feel like when they've had such a busy few weeks, months, non stoppness of life (and I should stop but I have things to do and sort out and obviously try to make rent and other monies) that they just want to ignore everyone? Checking social media platforms and updating life is such a chore. (updating on the modelling world life is important now as it can have an impact on the amount of work you get) I am at the point where I've been oh so busy I just can't be bothered. I can't be bothered to reply to texts or sort the things out that I'm supposed to do. Sleep doesn't even fix it. Is this when you just know you need a break? My agent asked if I had a boyfriend because of the lack of not calling every other day for updates.. Sadly no. 

Parents ask the same thing so I make sure I text them on a daily basis, I don't want them to have any false hope. 

Moving house when I did, it wasn't planned and I hadn't planned for it in terms of money or anything so the last month and this month which has been stupid but good busy with modelling means I am a little stressed because it's Summer soon and I would like to go on holiday and I would like to be able to pay rent, bills and have a life. So I have to just keep going and remain positive even though I am in a whirlwind of decisions right now. 

My life is a whirlwind right now, it's all or nothing, I'm up here and down there. Not much inbetween, I need a massive sort out, both of materialistic things and brain things. 

If you feel I'm ignoring you, I'm not really doing it on purpose I just can't help it. I just need a break from life at the moment. I can sit in my room for hours on end listening to music and at the same time not even paying attention to it.

The life plod is a real one though. Being a warrior all the time is hard and being a worrier all the time is annoying. So I'm both, and happy to admit that. Some days are good and some are bad and some I know that I'll find difficult to get through but I'll get through those, I've done it before so it'll take time but in the end I'll be fine. :) 

KEEP PLODDING!! 

I think other people just term it as 'KEEP POSITIVE'. 

IT'S THE POSITIVE PLOD OF LIFE. 

Maybe I should write a book. :)

I need a cup of tea (I've eaten all my rich tea biscuits)

Speak soon, Thanks for reading if you did.

Amy xx