Hi again,

Hi all, I've been debating for a while (months) about this post because I wasn't sure whether I should, but then the thought of me posting about my life - and modelling especially really, well it just didn't seem right to, not before saying this. So that's why I haven't and been a bit off radar. 

I'll try to keep this short. 🌷And those who know me well, know in fact it won't be, so please don't read further if you don't want to. 🌷

I was good and pretty happy at the start of the year (considering the rollercoaster of the 

year before) then the last few months I just haven't quite felt myself as much as I've tried to sort that out (due to normal life things, money, work, moving house, boys, life progress etc) .. 

And then my family dog Spike died and it feels so weird without him and I still well up thinking about it, along with all the other stuff that's happened this summer. 😔Trying to move on and just thinking about the good times is easier said than done. I'm not good with talking about emotions or change and I'll admit that but tbh I've just stopped feeling anything and suppressed it all and just ignored it and instead have focused on work. It's not the ideal thing to do I get that. But I'm trying. So if you haven't heard from me then all this is why. 🌾

I'm trying to get back on track, I'm not sure when I'm supposed to feel like me again. Sometimes I do and then I realise no I don't. Short bursts of feeling generally happy and like old me. I feel very hurt and sad but I can't do anything to change things so have to just accept and remember that I am a good and nice person. "Treat others how they would like to be treated". I'm very loyal and have high morals and if you are my good friend you will know this.

I'm not that girl who runs back if you speak to me like shit. I wish I was, but I'm not. I've not been brought up like that. I'll do my thing and people come and go, that's just life. 

Just because I'm strong willed doesn't mean I'm not crying on the inside. Okay, I'm admit I'm not good with change, and yes I would be lying if I said I didn't still think about you. But I'm still waiting for that day when I just don't think about you anymore, and meanwhile I'll try and get on with my life. 

So that is why again I've just  kept myself to myself because there's only one me right. Yes.

In addition to having a pretty rubbish Summer; 

My best friends dad died in July and it was such a shock. It shook me up, I shutdown a little bit and just had all my thoughts with my friend (and her family).

I just wanted to post this and say thank you to Paul for being such a kind and funny man. I hope you are treated well now that you are at peace. So many funny jokes and it was great when you used to call me for a chat when Holly wasn't around, that was just so nice. So thank you and lots of love ❤️ always in our thoughts. 

I also wanted to say how proud I am of my friend (Holly) for sorting so much out for the funeral and wake and clearing Paul's old house. It was a little difficult with us two but luckily Jack and Matt were there too. Good team work. 🌸It's only been a few weeks and it's such a hard thing to get your head around, I just wanted to say, and I know I've said it before but please let me know if there's anything I can do, you know I will always be there for you both. Paul would be so proud of the both of you, Holly and Jack. I am so proud of you two for being so strong in these tough times. Love you lots xxxx 💛

Again I apologise the lateness of all of this but I couldn't get my head around posting about my life without saying all of this first. 

Originally I was going to put it all in an Instagram/FB post but thought it's better to have it on the blog but because really that's all tied together.  🦋

I'll be okay, I just need to continue with my life and not let things get me down.

Also, those of you who read this and know me well, know that for me to post this is hard enough because 1) I do not do feelings and 2) It makes me feel weak, which I hate. But likewise I am a very honest person so will tell you straight up how it is.

I'm in London for a few days, working with Tigi again so that will be good and hopefully get me back to me (and I'll have some new hair too) 

Lots of love and thanks for reading if you got this far.

Amy

Xx

... still feeling like I shouldn't post this but then if I don't I can't move on with everything else and I need to focus on other things now. 

Closed book. 

Learn to run, again.

Not knowing what to really write is always the main struggle when writing blog posts, that's partly the reason why it's been so long since I did the last one. No, that's a lie. I've written loads, but I've just not posted because there's this thing where if you show proper emotion or the general parts of life where feeling just a bit shit then that's not very fun to read. It's just one of those things that happen when things just aren't going your way in life or the downs are really right down there and you just tell yourself things will get better. Even whilst writing this I'm thinking, maybe I'll post that other one I wrote the other week and then ignored because it was very positive. I was trying though, I just wasn't feeling too good and I've had a few months of feeling like and not really knowing what to do about it other than have more of a social life. Catch up more with people, I speak to my family a lot. I think that's pretty important. That's right there, right at the top of the list.

So I decided to start running. I need a little bit more of an exercise routine. 

I wrote this post a few months ago, I have actually gone on 5 runs in total. Running, unless the scenery around you is nice, is in fact pretty boring. It's like running in the same spot in a green room with floating images around you. Very weird. Running is good for you though, so that is why I am doing it. I'll go on another one soon and tell you about it. But not too much. 

Speak soon, hopefully.

Amy

X

Ps I've decided to post this even though it's not very long, the whole point of starting this blog up is to chat. So I'm not doing very well in terms of the chatting. We'll change that now. Soon.

A tidy room, A tidy head

You the know saying,

A tidy room, a tidy head.

It's true, honest. Don't you always feel a little more stressed when you room is oh so messy? Well I do. 

I'm a scatty person yes but I like my things in their little area. Well my room isn't tiny but isn't massive either but I do have A LOT of stuff and anyone who knows me knows that is the complete truth. I like stuff in my room. (This is Nigel a GIANT stick insect)

I like plants especially because I like jungles and adventures 

(I need to find someone to go with on one!) Plants make me feel at home and that's always a good thing. Plus they are good for you for all kind of things.

I bought a new plant to add to my collection -it's a type of Bromeliad - Aechmea 'Blue Rain' - I called him Spike... Apparently it's pretty easy to look after. It's a statement plant with blue and red flowers and glossy green leaves with serated edges. A proper jungle plant.

So my plan that I've had for ages is to sort my room out so I can have my plants on shelves then all the jewellery bowls etc with them and maybe some books. A long story short (and to be honest I had drafted another post here but have now decided as from now to keep up the positivity and even reading what I drafted makes me annoyed again so I'm just going to ignore it). 

Basically I bought some nice floating shelves from Homebase and the house I currently live in doesn't have any 'real' walls so every wall we (thanks Dad for helping and doing all the drills things because he is best at that) tried the shelf just fell off the wall. VERY ANNOYING. It just isn't going to work so yes I got very stressed and upset about it. Unfortunately some things are just made badly. It is stupid and very annoying but I'm not a builder so I can't explain in the proper terms. - If anyone is looking for some floating wooden shelves let me know.

Anyway moving on.. I re-sorted things around this week and over the last few days, getting all my summer clothes out and THERE'S A LOT. The plan is to sell some bits, I've done various piles. Really what I need is the help from a friend and then they can help me decide on things. Don't over stress. So now I have a tidy room again and everything is sorted in their areas. Next job is to mess it all up again and start depop'ing 

I also re potted lots of my houseplants which was very exciting and separated some out that were too big. My Mexican Hat Plant has had lots of children so they are now in separate pots (still nearby) I'll probably do a separate post on this as if not it'll all get a little confusing.

Right so better pop this one up, it's been some time. June will be more productive.

Amy xx

D O G S

D O G S

I love dogs. We have 3 at home at my dads (2 are rescue ones from local rescue homes and the other one was bred) and my sister and her boyfriend have 1 - a welsh collie puppy who is also a rescue pup. (Although the puppy is now just over a year old so whether that counts as still being a puppy then I'm not sure) .. photos of him are included in this post - for some silly reason I can only 'sometimes' add other photos to my cloud drive then to here so would have added photos of the other 3 too!!)

However a baby is still a baby until it (he/she) is about 2 or 3 then it's a toddler right? It's always the (slightly) awkward thing at work when deciding on whether to ask the customers if they need a high chair for their 'child' I always think if it  (he/she) looks like it'll (they'd) fit into a high chair then always ask. And if the owners of said child look at you blankly or mishear you and plonked their said child onto a normal chair then you just smile and ask if they'd like some drinks!

Some babies are bigger than other babies.

Some dogs are bigger than other dogs

(I like The Smiths song 'Some girls are bigger than others' hence the reference repeating..)

I like big dogs and boy dogs the best. Girls are okay too but always boy pets really. Maybe it's because the boy pets can't get pregnant and have a million families everywhere. Nothing wrong with that. We have a mixture though of both boy and girl pets and they all get on fine and have been 'done' so no more babies there.. even though lots of mongrel puppies would be amazzzzinng.

I do like some small dogs too.

I LOVE SAUSAGE DOGS.

Yes I am one of those people where if I see a sausage dog I will (get very excited but act as calm as I can) go up to the owners and ask if it is friendly and if I can say hello. Well to be honest I do that with all dogs. Big and small.

But sausage dogs, sausages on legs. (Sorry to the vegs out there for that image). Well they are just amazing aren't they. Not into the yappy ones. I think if I got some dogs I'd get a husky and a sausage dog or a Hungarian (not Horntail sadly) Ridgeback and a Doberman they're cute too. Infact I have a few favourites but I must refrain myself from googling these again because I will spend hours doing so and well I should get to bed because it is getting late and I have to be up early for workies. Not walkies.

So my main reason for this post is just to say dogs are really great. They cheer you up when you are feeling down, even when you have to pick up their poo. It's just how things are. You get to go on adventures and it's really fun. 

If you don't have a dog near you which you can borrow for a day, but you love dogs then you should check out https://www.borrowmydoggy.com
(Photo is screenshot from website)

I was actually signed up to this when I lived in London but you can sign up and join the club from wherever you are.

You get all the perks of looking after a dog, walks, adventures, new friends.. Without the actual owning of a dog. Which is always tricky if you go away a lot or are a busy bee. It's kind of like bumble but for dogs? There should be an app created for that! (I don't have bumble)

Maybe I'll test it out first hand and then tell you all about it! :)

Has anyone tried it out or has a dog they put on borrow my doggy?

Hope you're all enjoying the first few days of June! Where is time going!??

Lots more to come soon. Lots of posts from before today. Lots of thinking, lots of sorting brain out but dogs (and other pets) keep you happy and I think that is my important reminder for today! I love going home to see all the animals and plants. Makes me feel content for a while at least.

Right I must sleep, speak soon,
Amy xx

Bank Holiday Girls Catch Up - Just What You Need.

Just another Sunday, but no. It's the Bank Holiday!!, Well it was. For you anyway. Me I worked all of it. Just how it is, no biggie. 

(Photo Above and further below - Photographer - Kerry Curl, Location & Clothes & Furniture - Attik & Seller and Model - me - Amy Woodman)

(The first Bank Holiday in April I had off and my dad took me to the races - Fakenham - which was really great, sadly I was feeling really ill still so wasn't quite myself! But still was a lovely day out!)

I am currently working at a local pub The Black Horse as well as modelling (occasionally, more occasionally than ever ATM, maybe it's just the season and where the industry is going I just don't know) So I work flexible full time/part time, shift work really which consists of days, evenings, and late nights, but every shift is different times which makes it a little less mundane. It's a pub I've worked at for quite a long time and have been there throughout all the changes which makes me feel like a bit of the furniture to be honest - In a good way though. :)


I love the customers and the people I work with AND the fact we are a dog-friendly pub is a major plus! Also the food and drink offers are really good (Sunday Roasts especially! and recently I've got into the BrewDog Punk IPA in a can - the blue one) We have lots of exciting things planned for Summer which is pretty cool so if you haven't checked it out do so. Every Tuesday pints of Ale are only £3 ALL DAY if you're an aley fan! The house spirits are all £2.60 for single and £3.60 a double so under £5 for a double G&T <3 which is pretty good! The bar snacks are amazing (will have to take a photo of them all) and my favourite is definitely the crispy squid ! 

So anyway, myself and my good friend Kathrine (who I've known ever since Nursery) tend to meet up maybe once or twice a month and either go to a National Trust place (as we signed up last year as members) or dinner or a night out. Sunday draws closer and we plan to go for some cocktails out in Norwich and maybe somewhere after. The night is young - unless you go out a little later than planned. We were looking for a pretty chilled evening as we both had work the next day (Bank Holiday Monday).

I got home from work on the Sunday around 19:30 ish, felt reeeally tired so had a nap... woke up at 21:50! Had a few texts from Kat regarding our plan for the evening. Thought to myself.. I could just sleep more or I could go out for a bit..

Decisions!!

I decided to go out, dress up and have a good evening. It was great. I'm so pleased I decided to push myself to venture out and have a catch up with a good friend. :)

We went to Bond in Tombland (the old Bam Bams) for a Pornstar Martini which was really great - Prosecco as a shot is still a strange concept for me - and had already drank it prior to this photo - but I always enjoy these Martini's and this one is a really good one. I'd definitely recommend it! 

Then we had a glass of Prosecco each which had some raspberries in which was a great touch! Plus we both loved the glasses there. 

Goblet of Fizz. 

Really elegant and well worth the money for the amount you got. Happy, yes.

We sat outside for most of the evening as the seating area outside is like a jungle with palm trees and shrubbery (I always think of Monty Python - A SHRUBBERY!!) and there were heaters, which is always a plus, during this time of is it Winter or Spring? It was a nice chilled (but not cold) temperature - plus most people inside were so drunk and seemed like they were all on the same office party, and as much as I love meeting new people and getting involved this was not the right evening for it.

We moved on to Bar 11 where I had a double G & T (obviously) and another one and then some Tequila Rose which I LOVE. I think I could definitely drink an entire bottle and not feel anything drunk wise.

It's like being on holiday and having a (slightly) alcoholic icecream.

Yum!

We had a dance. We made some friends. When I say made some friends it's more like they found us. Strange men who either lose their friends somewhere in the club or get left behind or have no idea where they are.. that or the ones that go alone and stand there either staring at you or trying it on. None of this we were cool with so slid along to a space away from these sorts. Bless them for trying though. I mean I am picky when it comes to men but it's hardly fair that when I do get chatted up (like the once a year or something then I get these sorts, thank you but no I'm not interested thanks..)

I always love the music in Bar 11. At least you can wiggle to the majority of 'the beats'. 
Even if I'm not a good wiggler at least I'm making the effort. I like to call the music 'shitty R'n'B, the genre of music that I was never allowed to listen to growing up however it's made an appearance over the last 7 years. Sorry dad.

It's good music to wiggle to.

We stayed out a lot later than planned. I dressed up like a girl (I'm trying honest) and had a lovely catch up and chatted about loads it was really nice to just chill and have a few drinks and not have a mental one. Another time we'll start earlier and I haven't been to the Rooftop Gardens yet so would love to go there. Obviously we had to take a Bar 11 selfie in their new selfie mirror in the toilets. So here it is 

<3

I think sometimes you underestimate yourself and it's always good to have a chat with a friend and listen and help each other out. Vice Versa. I've been feeling in such a rut for a while and a little bit sad and just thinking of last year but it's good to have friends to keep you together even when you don't feel quite together. It's good to talk and sort out worries I think I just over think that bit and then say nothing because I find it easier to deal with. Saying nothing gets you nowhere. I've learnt that so I'm really going to try and pull myself back together and push through the feeling shit times. Make more time for people and spend more time with friends and doing things and writing even if maybe it's just for myself to look back and reflect on these silly times. Being positive and working out my life.


That's all for now. It's another Sunday, I need to get back on track and wake up and do things. My room is such a mess. Don't they say; 

A tidy room a tidy head? 

That's what I need to do!

Thanks for scrolling,

Amy xx

Fog of the Future

You know what, and to be honest, I haven't been the complete best with myself recently, but really, I've just been feeling a bit shit recently, for a number of different reasons. Trying to concentrate on working out the jigsaw, working on all the little bits and still not getting there with any sort of pattern. I'm usually good at these. 

I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be going (in life) what I want to do or what I'm supposed to be doing or whether I'm supposed to be knowing what I'm doing.

I'm at the age where I'm feeling like .. right now surely I should be proud of where I'm at. 

But really supposedly you should be proud of whatever you're at when you're doing that.

That's the thing, panicking about doing the right thing or not doing the right thing or what is the right thing?

I've been trying to decide whether modelling is going anywhere for me. I enjoy it yes. But realistically money wise it's getting me nowhere. I'm sometimes getting some. But mostly I'm not getting much. That's the honest truth. Maybe I'm getting more than some but for me it's not enough. It's not driving me. I want more. People always want more. It's not that I don't want it. I do. It's not that I'm even giving up to it. The competition is everywhere. It's a hard lifestyle. It's the inconsistency of it really. 

I love it and I hate it. 

Marmite. (I don't even like Marmite but I love twiglets) is that even a thing? I don't know. I'm at that stage where I'm thinking do I give it all up and concentrate on the real world. 
The real world which is still a struggle to achieve. 

Do I love what I do but I am just not earning enough to achieve something. Or do I love what I do because I like working with new people, helping them grow their business.
I want people (other people) to do well, but not myself? It's come to a point where; yes I want to help you out but I also want to and should feel the need to help myself out too. 

It's a two-way thing. 

That's always the thing in this Industry. The fashion industry. Or the makeup industry. Or in anything. I'm doing this because I want to. I want to make you happy and believe in yourself but surely I should believe in myself too. And I should want to. I need to. It's just a difficult thing to do. 

To want to, to need to, and to be appreciated for doing so.

Where does money come into it? Well, really money doesn't really do that much. Deciding the life of .. let's do this. Let's ignore the constant no money thing. Let's just carry on. Or do I forget it all and at least I tried? I don't know. That's where I'm at right now. I just don't know what to do. 

What is right. What I should do. What is right to do. 

What's earning me money? Modelling isn't right now and that's why I just shouldn't technically, practically and logically but giving up the dream of having that thing that I want, that everyone else wants is that what I should do? 

I just don't know. I don't know what to do.

Maybe I'll do something new for a bit and that might help me be me again.

- Advice is welcomed. Everyone's been there. It's just how to get out of it is the struggle.

Thanks for reading/scrolling

Amy

Under The Weather

Apologies, I've really not been feeling very well lately, the past month really has been rubbish. Really rubbish.

I've been well under the weather for sure.

I've had so many tests done, even a trip to the hospital for an x ray and got to wear a hospital gown .. (thankfully it came back clear so that's good). Still awaiting the blood test results, which will probably come back clear too and they will say ..

'Your body is tired, you just need to rest up'

The norm for doctors to say these days. Or maybe they will find something. It could just be a bad virus. My immune system isn't too great and when I catch something, then I catch them all.

'Gotta catch them all' 

(..... Pokemon)

So, hence why I haven't been posting that much on social media sites, I'm tired a lot of the time, I really can't be bothered. I'm behind on posting. I've been some places other than my bed.

I should get back on track soon, I feel my brain is slowly coming back to me. I'm still feeling pretty hazy most days. I'm making sure I eat properly (a common question always asked) I've not lost weight, in fact I've gained loads. I'm now over 10 stone. Which is weird. All my new weight is going to my bum. I'm a small frame, I always have been but the bum is getting bigger all the time and I can't seem to shrink it.

I'm not a Kardashian though (that's definitely spelt wrong somewhere) 

I'll be fine. I always am. I just am getting a bit bored of feeling unwell all of the time. Having to sleep a lot because I'm so exhausted from doing nothing really. I've not been going out, I've not really been drinking or partaying. I just can't be bothered right now. I eat and it does nothing for me energy wise other than making me sleepy. Hopefully the tests will come back with something or an answer at least.

So I apologise if you think I've been ignoring you or I can't make a job or I'm slow at uploading and all that. I'll get round to it honest I am just really really exhausted most of the time and there's not much I can do about it other than yes rest but also keep going and not give into it.

So this was just a little post to explain that and why I've not been posting much. Getting behind with things and trying to keep up with it all is exhausting enough. 

Speak soon

Amy xx